Oddities
by LCH8292
Summary: Join Sam and Mel on an overdone adventure. See them mess up and be stupid every day. Lily and James will be in it but it's mostly about Sam and Mel.
1. Default Chapter

Oddities

Summary: An overdone story of how two best friends meet the Marauders, and unexpectedly warm welcomes turn into declarations of war! Follow the two oddities on the adventure that is Hogwarts School!

Hi! I'm Sam! Well, actually Samuel; but if you tell anyone you're dead! My parents kinda messed up. Ok, they really messed up. As you can see I was supposed to be a boy. However I'm so glad I'm not! Anyway, me and my best friend Mel both got accepted to Hogwarts! I'm so excited! That's where the story really starts!

-

We were walking toward the station when we realized that we didn't know where the platform was. I can't believe it took us so long! Anyway, there were four boys nearby and three of them had owls! We figured we might as well ask them since they obviously went to Hogwarts. However Mel wasn't in a good mood.

"Oh crap! We are so crappy lost! What kind of crappy people would put a crappy platform on crappy 9 ¾! I mean crap!"

"Oh shut it Mel! I think those boys can help us! I mean, they have an owl!" Mel marched up to them and started insulting.

"You spend too much time in front of a mirror!" this was directed to the really extremely cute guy with longish black hair but not really long and the next was to this hazel eyed kid with glasses and the next was to a sandy haired guy who was kinda cute but really boney and the last was kinda cherub cute, in that order.

"You have to brush your hair! You are skin and bones! And you have to lose some weight!" she started poking the skinny kid and the fat kid. She did that for 5 minutes before she got bored. I was staring at her then I sat down on my trunk head in my hands and chanted, 'she did not just do that!' The hazel eyed guy tapped my shoulder and said, "She just did that!"

"Noooooo!" My arms waved frantically as I stood up.

"Let's leave!" Mel said and then tripped over my trunk. She hit her head and stood up. She stared at the boys for a couple seconds then leaned over to me and asked with a secretive yet loud tone, "Hey Sam! Who are these weirdoes?"

I did a face vault as the boys stared at her in amazement. Finally one of them spoke up.

"You just insulted us!" the really cute one pointed out. No duh Sherlock.

"I did?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh... Well, let's start over!" She stuck her hand out. "My name's Mel! This here is Sam!"

Each boy came over and shook our hands.

"I'm Sirius Black!" The cute one said.

"I'm James Potter!" said hazel eyes.

"Remus Lupin!" said the thin one.

"Peter Pettigrew!" said the cherub.

"Well, I'm really sorry that I insulted you! I was just mad that we couldn't find the crappy platform." Mel explained. They stared at her again.

"What's wrong?" she wanted to know.

"You're the first girl we've ever heard curse!" Sirius said.

"Well get used to it! She curses all the time and crap is her favorite word today. She doesn't usually curse around teachers but she will around you." I told them.

"Well, are we standing around chatting all day or are we getting on the train? It's going to leave in five minutes!" Remus announced.

"CRAP!" Mel yelled making even more people stare. Fortunately they looked away fairly quickly.

We had to walk through solid rock to get to the platform. But we found an apartment ok. We got to sit together and get to know each other better. They were all really nice! They're all pretty smart. Apparently Sirius and James are Purebloods which means that both of their parents are witches or wizards. Remus is half and half so he knows what internet and TV are. Peter is muggle born like us.

"So what's Hogwarts like? What do you guys know of it?" I inquired.

"Not too much. My family won't give too much away. They say I wouldn't really understand it until I go so now I'm going I'll know. However, I do know that each house has its own ghost and that Nearly Headless Nick is the Gryffindor ghost and the Bloody Baron is the Slytherin ghost." James said.

"We also know that we want to be in Gryffindor. My next choice would probably be Ravenclaw though because Hufflepuff doesn't seem like my style. We defiantly don't want to be Slytherins though. However my whole family's in Slytherin and I don't like any of them." Sirius continued.

"What does it take to be in a house? Is it painful?" Mel asked.

"Dunno. All I know is what each house is."

"What then, what are each of the houses?"

"Well, Gryffindor is for bravery. Ravenclaw is for smart people. Hufflepuff is loyalty and Slytherin's evil!" Remus explained.

"Sounds like Sam's in danger of being in Ravenclaw then! She is so smart! Sometimes know-it-all smart." Mel teased.

"Hey! For your info, I'm know-it-all smart all the time because I really know it all!" I hit Mel lightly, playing along. The guys left then to see the sights. (A/N Yeah right. Off to bully Slythes more like.)

Then this lady with a trolley went by and Mel being Mel got a whole bunch then started squealing.

"Ooo!" that was Mel.

"What, may I ask, compelled you to buy all this candy?" I asked sardonically.

"It was cheap!"

"And that's your reason?"

"Yes!"

"Well, it's a good one! Girl, let's dig in!"

Suddenly the door burst open and guess who entered? Without a by your leave the 4 boys from before came in and sat down with us again and started eating our candy! Boy, I got mad!

"So! What do you think you're doing? You crappy boys think you can just come in here and start stealing our candy huh?"

The boys' mouths dropped open. I guess I seemed like a quieter type to them. Well that's only sometimes. I pulled out my wand and then Sirius and James started laughing.

"You don't know how to use that yet! Even we don't!"

"Oh thanks for that info! Now I know you can't attack me back!"

"You thought she didn't know how to use her wand! She's already memorized the book and was looking for someone to test her hexes on! You lucky boys get to be her guinea pigs! I might warn you, she's a whiz at most everything in Muggle school!" Monica rightly warned them.

-

Curses and such that I don't want to write down.

-

"Hah! Now you don't have anymore taste till you kiss a girl that doesn't like you, on the lips! And with your looks that will be difficult! All four of you are pretty cute! Oh and we don't count!" I smirked as they glared at me.

"Don't worry! We can still be friends as long as you aren't mean to us, our friends, or our food!" Monica managed between giggles.

"Aw... Sam!" James protested. My smirk just widened.

"Oh no! That means I won't be able to taste the food at the beginning of the year feast!" Sirius had just figured out what not having taste meant.

"Hey! They ate all of the chocolate frogs!" Mel, on the other hand, had realized she hadn't paid enough attention to her candy.

This speakerphone thing went on just then telling us to start changing into our dress robes. We made the boys stand in the hall while we changed and did the same for them.

-

We got to go across the lake! It was so cool! Some dude fell in. Didn't catch his name but he deserved it! Plus he really needed to wash his hair anyway!

Our first glimpse of the castle was spectacular! All the towers and stuff! One was above the lake! Dang that'd be fun to jump from it! (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) We had walked into this huge hall! The ceiling was amazing! Just like the sky we had been under just minutes before!

This wizard hat sang a song which was really boring and all 6 of us were in Gryffindor even though the hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw. I figured that since Mel and the boys were in Gryffindor it'd be the most fun!

As soon as we were all sorted this elderly man stood up. He's our principal I think. Well here it's called headmaster but the same thing. Then food appeared. The guys dug in and started talking with their mouths full. It was gross! Mel, unfortunately, joined them. She does that so often I can understand them even with food in their mouths.

"Oi! No! I can't taste any of it!" Sirius managed around some meat.

"Hah hah hah!" I laughed at him and the rest of the boys.

"Haven't found and kissed a girl that didn't like you?"

"No way! We're not into girls!" James sounded disgusted.

"Yeah! That's gross Sam!" Remus added.

"Well, best of luck to you!" and with that Mel and I dug in emphasizing how good it tasted.

-

"Here are your dorms. Girls on the right, boys on the left." Arthur Weasley instructed. We all clamored upstairs. There were 5 beautiful 4 poster beds! Each had one of our names on it. We each threw ourselves at the one with our name on it. Boy, they were comfy!

Here's our first chapter. The next will be in Mel's POV. Mel is Meheeners just so you know. We're trying another like My Best Friend: Lily Evans just this time we start at the beginning of the year!


	2. Pancakes!

Well, my friend Meheeners hasn't written yet! And so I'll be writing the next chapter too. So… beware! We'll always put in a little thing at the top to tell you who's writing. You could probably tell though… we have very different styles!

"MEEEELLLLLLLL! Get up! It's our first day! Don't you think you should get up? Our first class is in 5 minutes!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs for the past 10 minutes at Mel who, once she falls asleep, will sleep through anything, and I mean everything.

"Whazzat? Whazzup? What's happening?" were the first sentences out of her mouth, "Am I really late?"

"No, of course not dumb-ass! I mean, I wouldn't make you late on your first day of school now would i? That'd be something you'd do! I know it takes you forever in the morning so I started trying to wake you up," I checked my watch, "30 minutes ago. It is now," I checked my watch again, "7:00 and you have 1 hour to get ready, right on schedule."

"Oh crap! You mean I have to get ready in 30 minutes?" She yelled.

"Um… well, yeah…. That is if you want 15 minutes to eat in."

"Crap!" she yelled again.

"Mel, just do it!"

-15 minutes later-

Woah! The sky looks like all nice! Maybe it's happy we came! Wait, is that the sky? Or is that the ceiling?

"Hey Miss Insulter!" The 4 boys we had met yesterday had sauntered over from the doorway. They had recently gotten up too by the fact all their hair seemed a bit touseled. A couple girls were checking them out even though they were 1st years.

"Glad Mel's so loud.... She made a darn good alarm clock though!" Sirius teased and Mel had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

"Aw, it was ok. It would of taken us forever to get them up on our own." Remus indicated himself and Peter. "They sleep like they're really dead!"

"Yeah… I know the feeling!" I glanced at Monica who grinned.

"Well, why don't we eat?" Peter suggested.

"Yeah… why don't we?"

So we seated ourselves at the table we sat at last night.

"Wow! Look at all the pancakes!" Mel has this thing with pancakes. They are like her most favorite food in the world.

"I know! Aren't pancakes the best?" James agreed enthusiastically. "I bet you I can eat more pancakes than you!"

"You're on!"

"That was really dumb! Monica can eat her own weight in pancakes 10 times over!" I started shaking my head sympathetically for James while laughing.

Then suddenly I noticed a girl a little way down from us. She was in our dorm but we had been so pooped we hadn't really played 'get to know one another'. She was actually quite stunning. Her hair wasn't in the best shape, it was a reddish brown and she had a couple freckles, but her eyes, man, those eyes swept you away! They were a deep emerald! Pure and dark! Those eyes made her really gorgeous!

"Hey." She called down the table. Simple yet effective. She got James to stop stuffing his face with pancakes and look up with his face full of maple syrup. Actually I'm surprised he got his face off his plate, it was covered in the stuff. Anyway, he stared at emerald eyes as if he's seen an angel or something.

"Um… You may want to wipe your face." She chuckled slightly as he colored and reached for a napkin.

"Here dude." Remus handed him 10. "I think you may need all of them."

She scooted down the table and sat next to me sticking out her hand.

"Hi! I'm Lily Evans."

"Sam speaking! This pig here," I gestured at Mel still stuffing her face with pancakes, "is Mel. The tomato," I paused again jerking my head in James' direction, "is James Potter. The really cute one is Remus," Remus blushed, "and the one that looks too handsome for words is Sirius but is really a big nut!"

"Oh. Well, nice to meet you all!"

Well, do you think that's enough for one chapter? I think so! We get to meet Lily and yeah… so, we shall see if I can make meheeners do the next chapter.

Stephanie:Wah! You were my only reviewer! Yay! I'm so happy!

K, this is just so you can see who we are kinda more.

Mel: One of the stars of the story. Really insane and based on Meheeners. She's a 1st yea at Hogwarts in Gryfindor.

Sam: One of the stars of the story. Also very insane and based on me. She's also a 1st year at Hogwarts in Gryfindor.

James: Will be important though not as much as Mel and Sam as all the Marauders. Good looking and will be a player.

Sirius: Basically the same as James. Will, eventually be with Sam, probably.

Remus: Ditto again. He will be a bit nicer and not a player. Actually he will be similar to Sam.

Peter: Nice guy but definatly a follower. He'll follow the rest around a lot….


	3. First day of school

"I am _soooo _sorry!" Mel apologized profusely in Transfiguration, our first class.

"And how, Miss Souris, did you manage to turn your finger into a needle!" Professor McGonagall was yelling at Mel.

"Well, look on the bright side. I got the spell." Mel tried weakly.

"But not like this! Detention for you tomorrow night!"

"Aww…" Mel complained.

"Shuttup Mel! Before you make it worse!" I hissed at her.

"Fine, fine." She grumbled back. Quickly I changed her needle back into a finger. And when McGonagall turned around it was just Mel trying to transfigure her match again.

"I must be going crazy." She muttered. Mel grinned at me. I guess that means Mel doesn't have detention anymore.

"Crap! How crappy mean! It's only the first crappy day at Hogwarts and she's already trying to give out detention! How crappy unfair is that! I mean crap!" Mel was using her favorite word again.

"Just come Mel. We need to go to charms next."

"Aw, crap!" Mel then clapped her hands over her mouth. "Oops." Fortunately and unfortunately Professor Flitwick was too occupied in getting himself off the ceiling to notice that Mel had cursed. "Well," she said sheepishly, "At least I made the spell work!" This time however not I, but Lily saved Professor Flitwick. She's really good at Charms!

Basically that's how our day went. Mel did the spell but on the wrong things and each time I got her out of trouble. It was like that at muggle elementary school too. She got in trouble and I, as goody two shoes, got her out of it. Now however she was starting to get in a bad mood.

"Well, at least you didn't curse at Professor Thistle." I was trying to be consoling and not laugh. Trying being the key word.

"That was only because it was the last class so I felt better and some of those potions looked acidic." Mel pouted. Suddenly she spotted James and grinned. "I've just gotten an idea! Oh James! Remember how you said you could eat more pancakes than me?"

"Um…yeah."

"Well, since you lost I'm going to dare you to do something! That was the loss. That's how you do it! At least Sam and I have been doing it that way for years! You can't back down! It's like a double dare. Plus if you do it then I'll get Sam to take off the spell that doesn't let you taste anything."

"Right…" he looked a little excited to have his taste back but slightly apprehensive. After all, he didn't know what we were capable of yet. Yet! (a/n grins manically)

"Well, I dare you to…"

(a/n this was the original start but I forgot to add their day so yeah… just wanted to let you know) "NOOOOO!" James was bemoaning his fate. Actually, if you thought about it, it wasn't so bad. All he had to do was kiss a girl. Any girl. Most would be quite willing to kiss James but hey! He was only eleven! He thought all girls had cooties! At least, that's what I'm guessing by all the protesting he made.

"Cummon! I won so you have to do a dare! That's the dare so pay up!" Mel was grinning wickedly.

"NOOOOO!" James yelled again. It sounded like he was being tortured.

"Cummon Mel! Go easy on him!" They all stared at me in surprise. Normally I backed Mel on everything. "We can't go for anything less than Jamesy-poo making the head girl kiss him!" James started yelling again while Mel smirked.

James had a look on his face that basically said he was going into the lion's den. Mel and I wore identical looks of evilness while we held up cameras. The Polaroid picture kind. We prodded him up to head's tower like guards prodding a prisoner to a dungeon. Muahaha! We are so evil!

'Knock, knock.' Went James' timid knock on the head's door. The door swung open and James, looking like he went into the mouth of the lion stepped timidly (a/n what's with all the timidness all of a sudden James?! What kind of person writes James like this?!? Hey wait, I think I might have insulted myself!)

"Hello. What do you want?" A girl called Alice Longbottom smiled warmly at James who was shaking like jello. (a/n dunno if he knows what jello is but oh well.) James couldn't utter a word. He got really nervous around most girls according to Sirius. Mel and I decided to help him out a bit.

"Um… Miss Longbottom?" I asked tentatively.

"Just Alice will do!"

"Ok Alice! See, James has fallen madly in love with you but he doesn't want to admit it. Being the great friends we are, we brought him up here to ask you that would you please give him one kiss so he can stop pining about it to us." Mel butted in bluntly with another evil smirk.

"Well," Alice smiled broadly, "I suppose I can oblige." And with that she bent down and kissed James right on the lips. His eyes widened and he looked horrorstruck. I think Alice took that for thunderstruck-ness because he really liked her but at any rate he couldn't move.

'Click, click,' went the cameras while pictures came shooting out.

"Thanks Alice! We owe you!" and smirking still more broadly we wheeled James out of the room and into the Gryffindor common room. During the whole walk James continued to be speechless.

"So? So? How did it go?" We were bombarded with questions from Sirius and Remus and Peter as soon as we got back with their friend in tow.

"Whoa! What happened to James?" Remus looked concerned.

"Who cares? If he really did it Sam'll take off the spell that will let us taste again!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius!" Yes, James was definitely back with the living as he was chasing Sirius all over the common room.

"Hold still! A promise is a promise." I proclaimed and whispered the counter-curse under my breath, just in case I needed to use it again.

"Well, I guess James got his kiss then." Remus figured out. Remus is pretty observant.

"Yep! He also announced his undying love." And leaving the boys looking confused Mel and I left to go to our dorm.

"Did you see the look on their faces?" Mel chuckled.

"I know! I mean, common! They didn't really believe that did they?"

"I dunno. I hope not! Honestly!" And guffawing all the way we made it to the dormitory where we saw Lily again.

"Hey guys!" she greeted us.

"Hey Lils! Is it ok for us to call you Lils?" Mel inquired.

"No problem as long as you don't let anyone else do it."

"Ok! We can do that! It will be a special nickname!"

"So, do you wanna get the boys, maybe play truth or dare or something? Maybe we can start learning something about eachother?" I said suggestively.

"Sure, why not?" the others agreed readily so down we went.

- seemed like a good stopping point! j/k! I wouldn't leave you here! We have to finish the dares now, don't we?

We all sat down, girls on one side, boys on the other. We were sitting in the girl's dorm because, frankly, we didn't want to see the boy's dorm… Yuck! Mel, Lily, and I were on my bed while James and Sirius were on Mel's bed and Remus and Peter were on Lily's bed.

"I go first! I go first!" Mel was chanting.

"Fine Mel, fine! You can go first!" I sighed exasperatedly.

"Ooooo! Yay! James, truth, dare, double dare, promise to repeat?"

"Dare senorita Mel, dare!"

"Where'd the Spanish come from? Anyway I dare you to-"

"Please no having to kiss someone again!" James protested.

"Great idea!" Mel grinned evilly. "But I won't! I want it to be more fun than that!" James looked at her apprehensively. Mel looked pensive for a minute then her face lighted up. "I know!" then she whispered something into his ear.

"No! She loves that thing!" James looked horrified.

"Do it!"

"Fine, fine…" He grumbled back. Then he stomped out of the room.

"What did you tell him to do?" I demanded.

"You'll see, you'll see." Mel looked very contented. Suddenly a great banging came from downstairs and yelling. James suddenly appeared again and glared at Mel.

"You got me 10 detentions! Thank you!" He hugged Mel who looked astonished. The muffled bangs still sounded from downstairs.

"That almost sounds like Penelope playing her piano." I remarked. (a/n no clue why I have so many Ps…) "It's the right time too." Before I go on I need to tell you a few things. Penelope's a year above us and very talented at the piano. She's a little (coughalotcough) stuck up about it. She brought her piano to Hogwarts with her and practices every day at 7:00 sharp. Today though, her playing didn't sound nice. Rather, it sounded as if she was hitting the keys and they weren't going down.

Anyway, we all rushed downstairs, without James of course because this was obviously his dare one way or another and Monica because she knew what was going on too since it was she who gave the dare.

Potato

Potato

Potato

….Mel is really weird when you let her type. Okay, back to the story!!

NO!!! POTATO!!!

MEL GET OFF THE COMPUTER!!

POTATO POTATO!! I WANT A POTATO WITH CHEESE!!

NO POTATO FOR YOU!!!! THAT'S MY POTATO!!

Eating my potato…. La di da, potato!!

GET OFF THE COMPUTER!!!!

NOOO!!!! POTATOOOO!!

Okay, after a hard time wresting the poor computer out of Mel's clutches, we return to our story! Mel grumbles insanely while eating a baked potato. I am scared.

Back from our commercial break with Meheeners!!

(A/n no clue where that came from… here… oh well.)

We all went downstairs where Penelope was shrieking.

"What's up Penelope?" I asked.

"Some… some… son of a…" Penelope was shouting. "I'll get them! If it's the last thing I do!" We stared at her in surprise. She's usually well collected. Finally we got the scoop. Someone (coughjamescough) had glued the piano keys together so she couldn't play anything. She had tried all the spells but we looked inside and turns out the "culprit" had used hot glue. A muggle substance, so all the spells didn't work. How convienient. We all looked suitably sorry then headed upstairs at a run.

"Oh my god James!" Sirius yelled.

"Well, wasn't my dare good?" Mel smirked. (a/n she seems to be doing that a lot.)

"Oh yeah! I'm 5 detentions ahead of Sirius now!" James shouted excitedly.

"NOOOOO!" Sirius was pouting.

"What's the deal with the detentions?" I inquired. "I thought they were a bad thing."

"Well, technically they are but in Sirius and James' cases…" Remus started rolling his eyes.

"They made a bet to see which one of them could get the most detentions." Peter finished.

"Ah… How stupid." I sighed.

"Yes, yes they are aren't they?" Remus agreed.

"Hey!" Sirius and James protested at the same time.

A/N Well, I'll leave you here. I think this is a nice long chapter. I'm also ordering anyone reading this to read my other fic, My Best Friend: Lily Evans.


	4. James' Dare

At the rate this is going I'm gonna be writing most of the chapters. I hope you peeps don't mind!

**James' Dare:**

"Well, now I'm ahead of Sirius, we can go on." James proclaimed.

"Well, then, go already!" I yelled.

"No need to get mad! Lily, truth, dare, double dare, promise to repeat?"

"Truth. I'm frightened to know what your dare would be."

"That's a good point. I'd be scared too." I backed her up.

"Well, then… NOOO! I can't think up something that would embarrass you!"

"Yesss!" Lily punched the air.

"Oh well… Lily, what month were you born in and what's an interesting fact about it that makes it really cool to you?"

"Wow, that was a long question…" I commented.

"Yeah, and we'll actually learn something from it!" Remus looked impressed.

"NOOO! I don't wanna learn anything! NOOOO!" Mel yelled.

"Shuttup Mel. Lily, answer." I yelled back.

"Allright, I was born in May. I think it's cool that the emerald is the stone of that month and the lily of the valley is the flower. Emerald is my favorite stone because of that and because my eyes are emerald colored. Plus I'm named Lily so… I sometimes wonder if that was the reason."

"That's really cool!" Peter piped up.

"Thanks! Like I said, I think so too! Anyway, Remus, truth, dare, double dare, promise to repeat?"

"Um…" Remus hesitated.

"He chooses double dare!" Sirius yelled.

"Allright! One dare you can't back down from or 2 dares?"

"One dare he can't back down from!"

"NOOOO! WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO!" Remus screamed.

"Gosh man, don't react so badly."

"I wasn't reacting badly, I just thought it would sound cool."

"Oh… well, it did… in a way… I suppose…"

"Yeah, I know. Wasn't it cool? Anyway, what's my dare?"

"I dare you to… to…" Lily thought, "You know, I'm gonna let Mel decide." Mel screwed up her face in concentration.

"I feel this will take a while." I knew Mel very well and she was concentrating. "I feel sorry for you Remus. She's gonna think up something horrible." I pulled a novel out of my bag as Remus gulped. (A/N Sorry, but I lost my creativeness just then… I'm gonna hafta wait till an idea comes to me. Unless you have an idea!)


End file.
